Today could have been the day everybody was laughing, instead, I just sit here and cry

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
2 Timothy 4:7

This quote from the Bible kills me a little on the inside whenever I chance upon it.

Has it really been a year? I remember everyone celebrating the first day of the Lunar New Year when I was weeping my heart out.

I remember the arduous and cold night spent in the hospital, the nervous handholding and praying, the flatline on the ECG, the sound of family wailing, the white sheets surrounding the void deck, the 5 days where I barely slept, the pastors leading prayers, the hymn singing, the cold metal portable loo, the abundance of flower wreaths, the taking of turns to read out our eulogies, the hugging of friends and family, the hoards of people saying their final goodbyes, the long journey to the crematorium, yet more sounds of people wailing, the final funeral service at the service hall, the arrangement of flowers on the coffin, the mechanic carrier transporting the coffin into the flames, the burning smell in the air, the collection of ashes, the placement of the urn into the church's columbarium, everything.

And these flashbacks, they'll haunt me for life.