Someone just asked me what's my purpose in life, probably as a joke, and usually I'll laugh it off and respond with a satirical comment but this time around, I was dazed.
Honestly? The first thing that popped up were my obligations. My obligations to others.
To be a good daughter? To be a good sister? To be a good granddaughter? To be a good Christian? To be a good friend? To be a good student?
But how many of these have I really achieved?
I quarrel with my parents, I rarely see my second sister because she's living with her boyfriend, I try my best to visit my parents' parents as often as I can but somehow once every two weeks doesn't feel justified especially when they live so near me, I try to keep awake during sermons but sometimes drowsiness just kicks in, I've lost contact with some of my friends, especially those who meant so much to me in my youth, it's not as if I don't want to reconcile the relationships but each time I see their posts on IG, I'll be thinking, "wow XXX is having so much fun now", and the yellow streak in me just decides to abandon all thoughts of starting a conversation with them, and I have messed up so much in my first year of university.
Maybe each of us really do have purposes to serve in life, but it looks as if I have fulfilled nada.
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