When you shed tears for no reason.

Hello. Today was a great day, like really..but I'm not really in the mood to blog about that ?

F. I just feel...sad..empty..hollow and...just, I don't know. It isn't a happy feeling. I mean I use to look forward to 3/3 in the past but now I'm just like, 'oh'. It's not that I don't care, it's more like I've grown...scared of it? It's good to grow up right ?? But I'm just afraid I won't be able this 'occasion', won't be able to handle more problems, more changes, more..disappointments.


I live in regret. Every time, always making the wrong moves at the right times and vice versa. Always taking for granted what was so easily accessible for me before, and feeling sad like a f after realising it's gone. I....just want to be free, to be able to let loose, to appreciate the simple things, thank all the nice people, hug all the people I miss, I don't know? Travel all around the world, doing volunteer work, helping the poor and the weak, lending them a helping hand when they're at their most vulnerable. Ok this is f-ing random, but yeah, that's what I would like to do. Does anybody care about them? No. No. NO. I just want to do something worthwhile for a change, I don't want to be just another creature living on this planet, I want to be able to touch lives, to make people feel better, to be able to make changes.

If you have the ability to do so, why would you not want to give more? I just think...everyone should live for a cause. I want to cheer people up, and just be there for them. But this makes me weak. Because people will take acts of kindness, of giving, for granted. They might be grateful at the start, but gradually, they stop saying 'thanks', they stop thinking about all you have done for them, they start to become greedy, to want more from you, to take advantage of you. This world is too selfish.



Okay I seriously don't know why I typed all of those bullshit man .__.
Sigh.

I'm really not looking forward to tomorrow. It...just doesn't feel like it's gonna be a good day, it just feels like a normal day. And I know everyone will think that way too.


If you jump, I'll break your fall.